then, i got to work. you may or may not know that i work in a daycare. and you may or may not know that this is a high stress, complex, frenzied, demanding career. i happen to work with three year olds. kids are so sweet at that age. they say the darn-dest things. for instance, "a bear bit my booty!" [child pulls down own pants to show friends imaginary bear-bite]. new skills are rapidly acquired at this age, such as somersaulting, tumbling, running [away], [un]tying shoes, potty training, and dressing and undressing oneself. children at this age begin to play with, not alongside peers. which directly correlates with their ability to fight with, not at each other.
don't get me wrong. i love kids. love. Love. LOVE. kids. i want my own someday. but i am also convinced that rearing 15 of my own children would be leagues easier to handle than rearing 15 unrelated children, mainly because not all of my children will all turn three between July 2010 and May 2011.
here's a few reasons why.
parents are important. this is incredibly understated in a culture that finds it normal to let strangers raise their children. most children under my care are at the center for between 7 and 10 hours a day, five days a week. that's a lot of time. and not all child care providers realize the import of the task entrusted to them, that is to provide a safe and stimulating environment in which the children under their care can learn the truths of Scripture and develop into biblical children who "Honor your father and mother" and "obey your parents." but even when children are blessed enough to be cared for by such people, they are missing some of the most important role models in their lives: mom and dad. i wonder how children can learn to "honor your father and mother" when the main disciplinary figures in their lives punch in and out each morning and night.
discipline is important. time out is not effective discipline. let me be frank. by the time i get children in my class, time out is a game for some, and a solace for others. and they are three. regulations regarding time out limit the number of minutes to corresponding with the child's age. the child cannot be out of sight of the teacher (and, consequently, cannot be out of sight of his or her peers). the child cannot be degraded in any form, such as forced to stand with his nose in a corner or where a dunce cap on her head. i'm not saying that i would do all these things were i allowed, i'm simply giving stipulations. were i the parent of these children, time out would be spent alone in the child's room, totally isolated from peers. but were i the parent of these children, and the child had behaved in a way that sent him or her to time out four, five, six times in the last hour, i would spank my child.
can of worms: opened.
some people don't believe in spanking. they think it is child abuse. they think it is detrimental to a child's well being and development, and that it will produce a generation of people who are delinquent and unruly. i believe the opposite is true. spanking is not abuse. it is discipline. it is not always the right form of discipline for a situation, but sometimes, it is. and if you think that spanking will produce a generation of delinquent and unruly people, you should see some of the children i come across whose parents only, always, use time out. unless parents exercise proper authority over the discipline of their children, they will raise children who do not recognize authority in their parents, teachers, bosses, or leaders. and then they will wonder why their teenagers were rebellious, why their college student dropped out after one semester, why their thirty-something couldn't hold down a job, or why their child got mixed up in drugs and alcohol. this won't always happen if you don't spank your kids. this won't always not happen if you do spank your kids. but i have seen what lack of discipline does to a child's respect for authority. and remember, i teach three year olds.
love is important. i don't think i need to elaborate this point.
all this to say, i have come to understand Christ better after my experiences at daycare.
i have heard it said before, even read it in the training materials from the state, that "children are naturally good." put another way, "all children want is to please their parents/teachers/care-givers." i sometimes wonder if people who believe these statements have ever actually met a child. you see, i believe that children are born sinners. i guess i'm a Calvinist on this, but humanity is totally depraved from the second they breathe their first breath. don't believe me? observe the eyes of a eight month old child when you tell her not to touch daddy's cell phone. there is understanding and defiance and sin in there. children do not need to be taught how to sin--how to lie and hurt others and steal and hide their wrongdoings. i have yet to work with a child who will tell me the truth the first time i ask. or the second. or the third. or ever. i don't have a single child in my class that can tell me what he or she is sorry for when they apologize. and when asked why they are in trouble, the rote reply is 'i don't know."
man is fallen. by nature, we seek to please ourselves. even babies. you may say i should cut infants some slack, as they are infants, but they serve to prove a point. they can bite, pull hair, push, and steal toys just because that is what they want, that is what will make them happy. three year olds do the same. they don't think about how the other child will feel, or how mommy will feel if they take the car away from their friend. they think about what they will feel. sinners of all ages act this way.
no child is naturally good. we are all sinners. the task of parents and care-givers is teaching children that they are sinners and teaching them to want to shun sinful behavior.
yet, Christ died for us. when our depravity runs so deep, He shed His blood to cover all our sins. the depth of that knowledge in light of what i see at daycare is staggering. and i love my Savior all the more. His sacrifice is so great, it is all i can do to praise His name. and realize my task with these children: to teach them of His sacrifice. what a weight of glory.
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